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Ramblings at midnight

A wild creature shrieks close by, and it startles me out of my sleep. When did I doze off? I shouldn't have. With danger at every step, falling asleep is unforgivable. But I am tired and my feet hurt. I know I need to keep walking. What do I seek? What am I so restless about? The warmth of the cradle that I so often dream of fills my heart and I suddenly have no more doubts. I must keep walking till I arrive. Till that mysterious voice whispers calmly in my ears, "My child, you don't need to run anymore. You don't need to seek. You will be well taken care of. Just close your eyes and relax. Sleep, if you must. When you wake up, you will still be safe." But that voice, that cradle is not yet near. Why do I feel that it is going farther away? It's getting cold around here.

I must keep walking.

Huge black trees surround me. The forest is so dense that I cannot see the sky. I fight my way through the tall grass. I cannot see what lies ahead or, for that matter, what was left behind. But those eyes seem to guide me. They are gigantic and full of love. They look down upon me from the tall trees. Sometimes i see them amongst the grass ahead, sometimes i step on them. But they never seem to blink, nor do they let me out of their sight. Now I see them on the bark of the broadest tree. I stand on tip-toes and try to touch the dark lashes. They wink at me and flicker out. Scared that I have lost them, I frantically look around and there they are, quite far, on another tree. I run to reach them, but these phantom eyes play hide and seek. I run around, stumble, and fall. I can not hold it back anymore. These words come rushing out, drop out of my eyes, and wet the earth below. "Why do you keep making me walk to you? Why do you keep going away? Why do you test me every time?"

I wipe my eyes and stand up again. I look around. The phantom eyes, the warm cradle and the calm voice, all seem distant. I run after them, but they get away faster. The kind eyes furrow, the voice is no longer calm, and the cradle turns colder. Slowly they fade out and the jungle is devoid of its serenity. For a while I keep running with a sacred hope that i will see them again. But gradually I slow down until I stop altogether. For a while, I look out to see if they are coming back. Eventually, I turn around and walk away.


  1. Thanks for sharing the link, but unfortunately it seems to be offline... Does anybody have a mirror or another source? Please answer to my post if you do!

    I would appreciate if someone here at could repost it.



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