And as the fate would have it, I was born a girl.
My father did not want me. My grandparents did not want me. I was useless to them. And my mother knew this very well. She knew secrets that were thought to be buried so deep that no one could ever uncover them. She knew why so many baby girls were born dead in the village. She knew why after nine-months of pregnancy, often no cries of a hungry baby echoed from the expectant house.
My mother wanted me to live. I wanted to live.
When the widow came to take me away, she remarked how unusually deep my gaze was. I wanted to remember my mother’s face forever. I knew I would never see it again. In spite of her painful labour, my mother looked beautiful. Her red dupatta with green block prints are imprinted on my mind as are her dark eyes and a smooth brown complexion. She put a locket of Goddess Kali around my neck for strength and to ward off the evil eye.
I held on to my mother’s fingers for a little longer. I wanted to be hugged by her, to be fed by her, to be cuddled like baby boys are when they are born. But deep inside I was resigned. I let go of her fingers and tore my gaze away from her face as she wrapped me in a tattered blanket and handed me to the widow. I did not cry.
There was no time to waste. Soon my father and his brother would come for me. So the widow fled with me held gently against her breasts. I don’t know what happened to my mother after that. I don’t think my father would have bothered too much about the missing baby girl. It was better this way for him too.
I know I will survive. I stand a better chance out in the world than within the muddy confines of my home. I can feel the strength burning inside me with each tiny thud of my heart. I know I will go farther than anyone in my family has ever dared. And my father was right. Girls don’t carry on their father’s name. I won’t too. But, yes, I will always remember my mother. I will be her daughter. I can’t wait to start exploring the world. But I feel a little scared too. Because along with my mother’s courage, I also have a bit of my father’s cowardice flowing in my veins.
Note: This is a work of fiction and is not related to the person in the picture
good work. impact-ful.ReplyDelete
Vibha, you write very well. Something about being a Virgo?ReplyDelete
Thanks Archit. Well, I have met a lot of Virgos who are very creative. I guess I have a long way to go but being a Virgo should help :)ReplyDelete
Ooh Wow.... Vibha! This is Beautiful and very touching!!ReplyDelete
Thanks Japjeet. It is a tragedy that this still happens.ReplyDelete
Yes it's True, Strangely i remember one family who originally wanted to have 1 baby and they wanted it - Girl. Now first one was a Boy, so they tried again and second was a boy.... Would you believe they kept trying and they had 4 boys in total and not a girl that they so wanted..!!that was mid 90's i remember them from, -- I guess they could have an example to others who just wouldn't want a girl child.. which is a matter of great Shame!!ReplyDelete
Yes, such people are indeed rare.ReplyDelete
Even today I know people who only congratulate a couple who has recently been blessed with a baby if the baby is a boy. How disgraceful is that?
So much said through means of this lovely work. It was impactful. Keep writing such things :)ReplyDelete
That's a touching story and very much thought provoking!! Good work!ReplyDelete
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Thanks Animesh/Cindrella. We have a long way to go in the way we treat girl children. Each little effort counts. I wish things would change faster though!ReplyDelete