Life Inspires

  I am your past, not the kind that hits you with a blast of wistful nostalgia when you dip the coconut cookie into a sweet sea of chai - your mamma's way, you realise, has become yours now. I don't bring an unexpected smile to you with the memory of a silly antic, a stupid joke. I am not that clown of a friend, the one of whom no one remembers much, except the jokes. I won't cradle you with the memories of a love cherished, though unowned, one that lingered, till it finally faded. And then nothing could bring it back, not even the warmth that being loved so fills you with.  You keep me locked in nested boxes. You know that I am not a threat because pasts can't hurt, at least not in any tangible way. You fear me, yet keep me close and when you feel inadequate, you peek at me with a smug smile. But, I came at a cost. First published on Red Fez  in May 2022

  I lie flat on my back spreadeagled life seeps through my pores mingles with the earth around me, saplings raise their heads and wither I count seconds with my heartbeats time slows down blood coagulates breath freezes it hangs in the air above my face posing existential questions The mind empties one memory at a time one thought at a time until nothing remains but your words in what had once been my brain Also published in the Issue #29 of Tipton Poetry Journal

Put down that magnifying glass because it will reveal a lot of flaws in her. That one white hair, the scars on her body, the limp in her walk, the stutter when she talks, the smudged make-up, the crow's feet around her eyes, the laugh lines around her mouth,  and the patch on her dress.   But if you look at her without the magnifying glass, you will see that she may not be perfect but is no worse than everyone else around you. You may notice that her eye light up when she sees you and you may find out how proud she is of you. You will understand why she is the way she is. And once you have done that then you may realize how much she loves you and how much joy she brings to your life. So put down your magnifying glass and look at her without it. Because she kept her magnifying glass down a long time back...

Nishu and Me I am here in India for a short visit during my vacations. I was expecting my 4-year old nephew, Nishu, to have distanced himself from me over the past six months but exactly the opposite has happened. It has forever changed my opinion about children. I used to believe that children live only in today and get attached and detached very easily. But here is my little angel breaking my heart with his little gestures because I know that I will have to leave him again and go back. Here are some of the things he has done in the past couple of days to make me unbelievably happy and sad at the same time: 1) He pouted yesterday and asked why I need to go back to the UK. Then he told me straightaway not to go back. I felt immensely sad because I know that I have to. At least for the next 6 months. 2) He kissed my hand without me asking for it. 3) Everyday I try to make him take an afternoon nap by reading stories to him. I doze off while he s...

"I have done so much for her and see what I get in return." Sometime or the other, all of us are prone to feeling this way. It becomes worse when this feeling creeps in between two people everytime they have the slightest of the arguments. The next stage is more often than not 'regret'. Feeling cheated in this way does not make you a bad person. It only makes you human. But if you hold these thoughts somewhere within you, they are sure to surface some time in form of words or actions. And this can deeply hurt your friend/spouse/parents/children/siblings... I started thinking about this when someone told me that it is difficult to avoid this frame of mind. I agree to a certain extent. In extreme cases, it is often important for you to know for yourself that you have done the best for something. For example, in case of a cheating spouse, if you know that you haven't left any stones unturned to make the marriage work, you are more confident of your choices and...